So far just childhood innocent experimentation
4-Sep-16 17:51
When I was young, I was kind of a loner. Dorky, good in school but a loner. I used to play this game called Strat-O-Matic baseball for hours and hours by myself. I had to have been 13 when I found out this kid my age, Ned--who was also scrawny and not part of the "IN" crowd--was also into Strat-O-Matic.
His folks were divorced which was really rare in the 70s. He lived with his Mom most of the time. She had an apartment a few miles from me. I would get driven over there and we would play Strat-O-Matic and watch the Red Sox for hours and hours by ourselves. Ned's MOm was quite the party girl divorcee so we had the place pretty much to ourselves. She'd come home way after we were asleep.
I was one of the last guys to 'develop' and Ned was maybe the second to last kid to develop. I do remember he had blonde hair on arms which fascinating to me. At the end of our nights we used to wrestle before going to sleep. In the nude.
We used to get really aggressive and the wrestling was really intense. We truly tried to pin each other. But with the intensity came arousal and with the arousal came hard-ons. We were so clueless. We knew they were hard-ons but we didn't REALLY know--if you get my drift.
Occasionally our 'guns' would go off in battle. I was reminded of this phase of my life recently when I recalled Strat-O-Matic as my first addiction (of many that were to come later in life.)
The truth of the matter is, I don't look back at this and wonder if I'm bi. In the 30+ years that have followed I have never been alone with a man, crossed swords with a man (which would be hard to do as I've never had a threesome)or ever had an uncontrollable urge to kiss a man or ask one out.
I look back on this with much fondness. It actually brings a smile to my face. It was so innocent --yet so exciting. It was sex--yet it wasn't sex.
Will I ever have a bi experience? I have no idea. I know if I did I certainly wouldn't feel ashamed about it.
Are there men on these sites that I find attractive? Absolutely.
The older I get, the less I judge myself and others. I never say 'never' anymore.
His folks were divorced which was really rare in the 70s. He lived with his Mom most of the time. She had an apartment a few miles from me. I would get driven over there and we would play Strat-O-Matic and watch the Red Sox for hours and hours by ourselves. Ned's MOm was quite the party girl divorcee so we had the place pretty much to ourselves. She'd come home way after we were asleep.
I was one of the last guys to 'develop' and Ned was maybe the second to last kid to develop. I do remember he had blonde hair on arms which fascinating to me. At the end of our nights we used to wrestle before going to sleep. In the nude.
We used to get really aggressive and the wrestling was really intense. We truly tried to pin each other. But with the intensity came arousal and with the arousal came hard-ons. We were so clueless. We knew they were hard-ons but we didn't REALLY know--if you get my drift.
Occasionally our 'guns' would go off in battle. I was reminded of this phase of my life recently when I recalled Strat-O-Matic as my first addiction (of many that were to come later in life.)
The truth of the matter is, I don't look back at this and wonder if I'm bi. In the 30+ years that have followed I have never been alone with a man, crossed swords with a man (which would be hard to do as I've never had a threesome)or ever had an uncontrollable urge to kiss a man or ask one out.
I look back on this with much fondness. It actually brings a smile to my face. It was so innocent --yet so exciting. It was sex--yet it wasn't sex.
Will I ever have a bi experience? I have no idea. I know if I did I certainly wouldn't feel ashamed about it.
Are there men on these sites that I find attractive? Absolutely.
The older I get, the less I judge myself and others. I never say 'never' anymore.
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